The Female Mind
How to define a woman, when they are all so different?
Men would say â€“ women are all the same.
What is it that makes them different, and what makes them the same? Â
Desires in the soul of every woman are different.
Every one of them desires something else. Â Â
Some women deep down desire for a child â€“ they are archetypal Demeters.
Others want to get married and to be paired off â€“ they are archetypal Heras.
Some do not want to grow up â€“ they want to be forever young, they do not want to make up their mind, they want to keep their options open, they are adaptable and depend on others â€“ they are archetypal Persephones. Â
These women within us make us vulnerable and dependent on men. Â These are the desire for motherhood, for marriage, and striving to be dependent on someone. Â
There is this powerful urge to meet the needs of others, to please others, to nurture.
Women can satisfy this urge by choosing a career involving helping others (such as a nurse), not only by getting married, giving birth or being dependent.
So, the focus is on others, we observe and feel what other people need, we adapt.
If their life is not balanced well enough, these women have the potential to become victims.
Then again, some women want nothing but peace; they take pleasure in peace and contemplation â€“ they are archetypal Hestias.
There are also those who (to the surprise of some men) want a career, success, a family, children; they want it all, they are guided by reason, not driven by emotion â€“ they are archetypal Athenas.
On top of all this, there are some women who set goal after goal in their lives (they take interest after interest, forever wanting something new), they reach these goals, they are belligerent, brave and good friends â€“ they are archetypal Artemises.
These female parts within us make us invulnerable and independent of men and others. Owing to them, our attention is focused on satisfying our desires and meeting our needs. Â
In this case, we put ourselves first, we are focused on ourselves.
If their life is not balanced well enough, these women have the potential to become selfish and lonely.
So then, some women are more focused on meeting their own needs, and some on meeting other peopleâ€™s needs.
Those who mainly meet the needs of others would normally say: â€śPoor little meâ€ť.
Those who mainly meet their own needs would say: â€śI, I, I â€¦ want, want, wantâ€ť
But both kinds of women have something in common – Â femininity.
Some of them live their femininity, many donâ€™t. Â
Femininity is about wanting to be beautiful, seductive, attractive.
We want to have luxuriant hair, sparkling eyes, manicured hands, we want to smell like a million dollars.
We want to be admired regardless of being introvert or extrovert.
We want other peopleâ€™s attention.
We know how to give attention, how to draw attention, we know how to be fun.
We feel they want to hear us.
We want to know that they have heard us.
We want to see that they have soaked up every word we said.
We radiate sensuality and seductiveness. Â
We aspire to creative professions; we donâ€™t worry about the future.
This is archetypal Aphrodite â€“ the goddess of love, sensuality, creativity, beauty, art.
If she does not rely on wise moves, this woman has the potential to be condemned by others.
What is the problem? Â
The problem is that we do not use all our capacities, but we get stuck in one role. Little by little we limit ourselves. Â Â
We sacrifice those parts of ourselves that give us strength (and nourish our soul) for those parts that seek validation from the society.
Thus, regardless of the talents we posses, we get stuck in â€śsomething secureâ€ť.
There is nothing worse than security.
â€śA ship in harbor is safe, but it is built for sailing.â€ť
These women in us that bring peace, beauty, strength into our lives â€“ such as Aphrodite (a wish to be beautiful, settled, creative), such as Hestia (who wants to read her book undisturbed), such as Artemis (who wants to go mountain climbing with her friends every weekend) â€“often get sacrificed for motherhood, marriage, fatal dependence on someone. Â Â Â
But, we need balance.
Balance is something to be achieved.
Where to start from?
Where did it all begin? Â Â
The fact is that we are born with certain archetypes.
Some girls play with dolls, and some run wild with boys in the neighborhood.
That is undeniable.
Remember who you are.
Read the book by Jean Shinoda Bolen â€śGoddess in Everywomanâ€ť, find yourself, and find the places where you got lost.
Because, if you donâ€™t wake up in the morning with a song inside you, with a sparkle in your eyes and the will to live â€“ you are lost. Â
So, no doubt, we are born with a fixed personality.
If we desire for a child, we have the mother archetype. We should nurture it. But letâ€™s not go to extremes, to stop caring for ourselves.
If we wanted to conquer the world, this desire would never cease. Do not try to convince yourself that you do not want it any more, but find a way to satisfy it.
But first, understand what you are.
Then take the next step.
Gradually develop all other archetypes â€“ the mother, the wife, the dependent woman, the adventurous woman, the successful and reasonable woman, the quiet woman, the seductive woman.
Develop the archetype you lack. Because each has its advantages. Â
This will make you complete and strong.
And that means â€“ happy. Â
â€śLife is too short to be finding yourself for too long.â€ť
What would then be the first step?
Develop Aphrodite within you.
Once the energy of Aphrodite is activated, everything starts changing.
What should you do?
Focus on making yourself look beautiful.
If you are already doing this, then bring awareness, tranquility, and more time into it.
So, donâ€™t rush to the hairdresser, but take your time and prepare for the pleasure.
Let your hair shine. This is your shine. Â
That is just a small step, the first step, but an important one.
Each woman will take different steps.
Each has her own goal, her own problem, her desires, and aspirations.
There are workshops and lectures in which we teach details, pass on our knowledge and adapt it to each person individually.
But, what happens if a woman does not satisfy her soulâ€™s desires?
If she wants to be a mother, but it does not happen?
If she wants a life full of new interests, new people, new cities, but gets stuck in the middle of nowhere with the people who bore her?
What if she wants to be a successful manager, but has a strong archetype of Hera (desire to be married), thus devotes herself fully to fulfilling her husbands wishes, disregards her own ones, and becomes a nervous and dissatisfied wife?
What if she wants a family, but instead her life is dedicated to career, so she remains lonely and unhappy?
Well, you know the answer.
She will get drowned in the emotions of dissatisfaction. Â
She will feel it through sadness, fury, fears.
She will feel it through the loss of a desire to be pretty, seductive, creative.
She will feel she is no longer alive.
She will feel like a robot that carries out tasks â€“ she will lose the emotion of life.
Of course, our emotions are visible on our body. Â
If a woman is neglected, the first thing she loses is that sparkle in her eyes.
For me, there is nothing more beautiful than a woman with sparkling eyes.
Eyes are the best indicator of how much life there is in someone, how much spirit. Â
I was recently asked about the difference between the spirit and the soul.
The soul is made up of all the things I have previously mentioned â€“ the combination of archetypes, that is, the combination of desires.
Because, the soul is the one that desires.
The soul constantly desires. The soul longs for miraculous things.
The soul longs for the food that will provide miraculous experiences.
If the food for the soul means being paired off (getting married), then the soul should be nourished by marrying wisely (have a good man by our side) and enjoying that person.
If the food for the soul means being adventurous, then the soul should be nourished by searching for new things, new people, new challenges, new interesting and inspirational situations. Â Â Â Â
In any case, the soul should be nourished.
Depending on how you nourish your soul (your desires), that is what your spirit will be like.
The spirit is a moving force. It keeps you going. The more you nourish your soul, the more strength, motivation, more will to live you have. Â Nothing is difficult any more.
Donâ€™t think too much, but take action, enjoy doing it and take pleasure in results. Â
The spirit reflects our â€śstate of mindâ€ť.
Are we stiff, inert, ironical towards life, or do we approach life with humor and calmness? Â Or with determination and strictness?
So, when we nourish our soul and satisfy our desires, our spirit is livelier, and our body reflects it.
In medicine, there is a saying â€“ Function promotes structure, and structure promotes function.
When we work out, our muscles build up and get stronger. As they get stronger, we want to work out more. This is how a vicious circle of promoting structure and function is formed.
The same is with digestion.
If we stimulate our digestion in a healthy way, and the best way to do it is by being physically active and eating slowly and mindfully, then our digestion system becomes healthier, and we donâ€™t have to think about food, but merely enjoy it.
If we always go to the toilet at the moment when we feel we need to go, then the muscles of our bladder will be trained to function properly and at the right time.
If we walk 10 miles a day, and, since our human anatomy demonstrates we are designed to walk, then our spine will be flexible. I would like to add though, that the majority of problems in the lower back are caused by digestive disorders. But, as I have already mentioned, physical activity is the key to good digestion.
If you are crying out right now â€śBut I donâ€™t have time!â€ť, then you urgently need a change!
If you donâ€™t have time for health, youâ€™ll have time for sickness.
If you donâ€™t have time for a walk, for a quiet meal, then youâ€™ll be dealing with hormonal imbalance, so youâ€™ll be going to hospitals, seeing doctors, having check-ups, searching the Internet to find about the health of the ovaries and the thyroid, and the solution will be further and further away, because your focus is wrong.Â Â
You should be focused on health, not on sickness.
You should be focused on pleasure, not on carrying out tasks mechanically.
Take some time to think about the things you do every day.
Are those things you really want to do, have to do, need to do, should do or enjoy doing?
So now, take a few moments of your time to answer the above questions, and you are already on the right track. If you ignore this, you are not interested in yourself.
Then why should anyone else be? Â
Start thinking about the right things, the ones that lead to a solution. Stop being focused on your problems. Focus on solutions. Â
Focus on health, wealth, beauty. Â
Go back to the beautiful parts of yourself.
Return briefly to your soul, you need strength for your spirit. Â
When you have spirit (energy), then you work out, you are physically active, you eat good food, you sing, dance, have fun, socialize, meet your bodyâ€™s needs, you do yourself up, you are radiant, you live life.
Donâ€™t ask too many questions, donâ€™t stop living.
Letâ€™s go, letâ€™s go, letâ€™s go! Â
â€śLife is too long to be sick and tired.â€ť
Diet, Preparations, Lifestyle, Stress Relief
What is a real life like?
A thirty-year old woman who is constantly stressed out, because she wants to be successful at work, wants to tame her husband, wants her kids to do great at school, wants to help her parents, wants to look good, wants a nice apartment, wants to travel â€¦ starts slowly forgetting what she actually wants.
She confuses her own wishes with the wishes of her husband, her children, parents, the society.
She wants it all. Â
But the question is what she enjoys the most? What nourishes her soul? What raises her spirit (energy)?
Little by little, she turns forty and feels the first symptoms of disease.
She still does not consider it to be a disease, but only stress-related problems, temporary symptoms, something that will go away.
She only suffers from headaches, muscle aches, fatigue, dry skin, poor digestion, dissatisfactionâ€¦
It is hard to find such a diagnosis in Latin. That is why you donâ€™t seek a diagnosis.
But there certainly is a diagnosis for it! Â
And it is far from being harmless! Â
This is all the beginning of the end. The end of our spirit, the end of a real, true life.
The beginning of disease.
The end of fun.
But letâ€™s consider this from a different angle!
â€śLife is too rich to be living it in povertyâ€ť.
Mulier Holistic Recommendation for Overall Health of Women Â
In this part, let me give you some advice on how to help yourself to reinvigorate, to become satisfied in your soul and healthy in your body. Â
There should always be several fields of activity.
The question is how to achieve the best result. Â
Letâ€™s start from diet. Â
Are you a sweet addict? There is a cure for that.
Are you having irregular meals? There is a cure.
You donâ€™t have time to cook? There is a cure.
Follow the recommendations below, and then ask questions.
I recommend to almost every middle-aged woman to start her day with stretching exercises.
5â€“6 minutes of stretching will do. Accompanied by deep breathing.
It changes the entire dayâ€™s perspective.
It makes your motivation, self-confidence, self-esteem, and energy different.
If you are still motivated (regardless of whether you have time or not), meditate. At least 20 minutes in the morning, and, if possible, 20 minutes in the afternoon. It will change your life. But, you will never know unless you try.
In the morning, drink a glass of lukewarm water with lemon on an empty stomach.
Then have a kind of tea to balance female hormones.
Make a smoothie â€“ without fruit, but with healthy oils and nuts. Add some oils or spices, such as turmeric, which have anti-inflammatory properties. If you are taking supplements, add them to your smoothie.
Then make lemonade, add some herbs, depending on what your body needs. Drink a lot in the morning. Â
At about 11 a.m., have a hearty meal, something warm, but a small portion. Such as scrambled eggs or stew.
Do not drink after a meal.
Always eat soup for dinner. Depending on your needs, have some meat or fish with your soup.
I strongly recommend eating vegetables.
If you are strong and have a strong physical energy, then eat salad.
If you are tired, donâ€™t eat salad or anything raw. Â
Eat boiled vegetables.
Always eat vegetables with meat, without bread.
Donâ€™t drink after dinner.
In the afternoon, drink detox teas.
The simplest and the most efficient one is parsley tea.
Have some protein for an evening meal. A small portion of tuna, chicken, avocado, kefir. Â Choose one of the mentioned.
Eat slowly and chew thoroughly; donâ€™t drink after meals, you can drink before your meals (hot drinks). Â Â
There should be a gap of 14â€“16 hours between your evening meal and breakfast (smoothie).
Follow these recommendations.
Do yoga, aerobics, Pilates, go running, play a team sport twice a week. Choose the one you like the best. Â
Get a massage at least twice a month.
At the weekend, go to the theatre, hang out with your friends, socialize, have fun. And donâ€™t forget to spend a day outdoors.
To get rid of your stress means to change your attitudes and behavior.
That is not easy.
For that you will need motivation and knowledge.
You will either have to motivate yourself or get help from an expert.
You can gain knowledge from the lectures and workshops on womenâ€™s health.
I canâ€™t impart knowledge to you through one article. I can provide information and guidelines. Â
I will give you a guideline for stress relief. Â
You should be ready to exercise.
The first steps to relieve stress:
This is already challenging enough! Â
Then give up.
Every action boosts our healthy ego, gives us strength and motivates us to do more.
By taking no action and brooding over a problem we sink into despair, we lose energy, strength and health. Â
Therefore, take action.
Now youâ€™ve got everything in one place.
Read this text every day.
You will notice changes.
Share your experience, ask questions. Â
I wish you good health, fun and progress.
Meri Bura, MD
Mulier in Latin=woman